So I stopped dreaming a few years ago and when I'd start to dream I was quick to crumble it up and throw it out. The disappointment, over and over and over again, was just too much...too painful...too maddening! I told God more than once that I no longer wanted anything to do with it! But...I'd always go back to it, always start to do it again, and continue to shut it down and out. It seemed better to be dead to dreaming than experience little deaths continuously.
I know, this seems exciting, right?! Well, the journey is a bit of a maze. Still is. But somehow I stumbled upon the above book and started it and after the first couple chapters, I put it deep within a cabinet somewhere. Then, for some reason, I looked up Jennie Allen, IF:, and low and behold I got an email about Dreaming for 2016. I pretty much planned on deleting that email and be through with it, but I guess I didn't because I had my mother-in-law print out these four sheets of paper and when we got home I pulled out the yellow and black book and I'm half-way in, underlining like a mad woman.
Thought, just in case I needed to hammer some things into my head and heart, I'd pound everything I wrote out right here...
Spiritual (1. What were your favorite moments in 2015? Where did you see growth? 2. What changes can you make? 3. What does it look like to be intentional in 2016?)
Alone Time/Connect with God: 1. Our mornings together...sweet, special! Memorizing Philippians. Prayer runs. Scheduled prayer times. Read thru the Bible. 2-3. Regular prayer walks/runs. Prayer journaling. Talking with God throughout the day. Habit of praise. Actual Bible Study (1/ 2 Timothy)...and memorize it. Actually praying on my knees. Taking advantage of the time I have during my days to schedule study time, prayer time, writing, serving, discipling...
Church/Serve/Tithe: 1. Stopped seeing serving as about me, but about THE ONE I serve or the ones I serve. 2-3. Begin to truly serve the ONE by serving (and loving) the ones in front of me. Just focusing on Him...letting all else fall into place. Team Sawyer. Being a better steward with my funds and with our family budget. Always living open-handed and eager to grab less (of the world) and hold more (of Him).
Outreach/Ministry: 1. Hanging out with babies. Teaching in the chaotic moments.
2-3. Letting God lead, trusting that He will lead, serving with joy because I am serving Him. Prepare for my lessons, pray over them, pray over the kids and their families. Be open to new things...letting God be The Comforter in my discomfort. Serving with joy and eagerness and excitement in the mundane. Seeing all as an opportunity to serve Him. He is ENOUGH. He is REAL!
Discipleship/Mentorship: 1. using school/life as an opportunity to disciple the kids. A couple ladies from MPC. 2-3. More consistent with my kids. Have a plan...at least a map! Be quicker to open conversations with ladies. Let my guard down and trust God to be the Shield about me. Regular family devos/scripture memorization. Be intentional. Pray REAL LIFE prayers. Nurturing relationships - finding ways to open my life up to others.
Relational
Friendships: 1. Talks with Hannah, Cass, Melanie, Lari, Jeanette, Crystal, Pam, Abbie...(more!). Growing the way I "take" some friends. Letting myself be real with others without thinking too much. 2-3. Doing the "real" thing more. Shutting down negative thoughts and talk quickly. Pray for them regularly. Not seeking their things and/or their lives; rather, seeking them and to be a blessing to them. Think of ways to bless and do it! Maybe start with emails, encouraging texts/cards, favorite treats.
Marriage: 1. Truth...learning to work through HARD and pray for Nathan like the brother-in-Christ he is. More eager for intimacy. Deciding I wanted to be his biggest cheerleader, no matter what it's over (being interested in what he's interested in). 2-3. Better at meal planning and implementing. Getting more "into" him and his interests and work. (Genuine interests) Continue to pray to be a happy, tired person/wife. Stay up while he's up. Join in prayer time. Encouraging texts/emails. Pursue him. Cease from making Nathan feel bad about what he does/doesn't do.
Kids: 1. Reading with Hannah and kissing and hugging her before school. Reading to the kids at bedtime. Prayer time with the kids before bed. Helping the kids with homework...even when it doesn't end well. Watching God answer my prayers for them. 2-3. Consistent readings before bed, scripture memory work, Bible reading. Consistent Spirit-led interactions/conversations with them. More laughter, more fun, more games. Tightening areas up where they've gotten loose with behaviors, manners, and obedience. Consistent follow through with discipline...less nagging, more instructing. Teaching kids more by Your Spirit and love.
Extended Family/Neighbors/Coworkers: 1. Meeting our African neighbors. Chats on the phone with grandparents. At Home Harvest Fest-thing. 2-3. Intentional conversations with neighbors. Calling grandparents and/or letters. Maybe tamales with Ms. Carmen, flowers for Miriam, going to the park with the kids (sharing popsicles, juice/water with neighborhood kids), sit out front in the summer evenings. Snacks when kids come over.
Personal
Food/Exercise/Health: 1. New exercises, new healthy recipes, more water, walking with the girls and the dog. 2-3. Even better meals. Regular exercises for needed areas. Work out with Nathan in evenings. Premake good snacks/meals. More exercise with the kids. Run a 5K?? Playing with the kids outside. More hiking. Throw the football as a family.
Books to read: 1. Started Mere Christianity, Henri Nouwen book, Corrie ten Boom, Forgotten God, Come Rain or Come Shine, Ruth B. Graham books. 2-3. Finish books!! Actually filling in the study questions with study books. Seamless, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Restless. Read more with Hannah. read at least one book with Nathan (Mere Christianity). 1/2 Timothy study??
Dreams/Memories to make: 1. Decided it was okay to imagine/dream with Dad again (usually on walks). Taking Hannah shopping for her first pair of heels. 2-3. Plan more memory-making times with Nathan and the kids. Seek God...asking Him to place His dreams within me (and Nathan)...to think on them more than my limited ones.
Travel: 1. Missouri, Texas 2-3. Maybe a quick flight to NC, TX at Thanksgiving, maybe to OK for Spring Break...We'll see...
Work
Finances: 1. paying off a large portion of debt, sticking mostly to the budget, trusting Nathan's creativity and wisdom...seeing God bless. 2-3. Spend less on unplanned events/things. Do a better job of sticking within or under our grocery budget (and extra funds), support Nathan's decisions and sacrifices to pay off more debt rather than allow more spending. Plan ahead and make the plan enticing and fun rather than "less than." Simplify...purge...give. GETTING TO PAY OFF ALL DEBTS EXCEPT THE VAN IN FEBRUARY AND MAYBE THE VAN BY THE END OF THE YEAR!!!!!
Personal Growth/Education: 1. Philippians, Read thru the Bible, Thessalonians study, The Lulu Tree Newsletter 2-3. Try at least one new thing (something creative...sew, crochet...), find knowledge instead of relying on words, thoughts, and opinions of others. Write about something...??? Mere Christianity work with Dad. Memorize 1/2 Timothy. Learn Spanish.
Project: 1. Newsletter, few blog posts, used calendar more. 2-3. Keep up with Lulu news (make newsletter easier), consistency, organize. Keep using calendar/planner more (lead by example). Don't be afraid of planning just because plans might change and don't be afraid of changing plans just because you plan. Plan family fun. Write a devo??
So, here's to hoping 2016 will rise to the dreams or that dreams will arise in 2016.
